Introducing Harrison Kevin!

Harrison Kevin was born on Thursday 3 December 2009 at 8:54am! He weighed 6 lbs 6 oz and was 20 inches long. He was born with grey colored eyes (that I think are on their way to brown) and light brown hair. He is absolutely wonderful! He loves to just sit and look around at everything. We just love him!!!

Here's my birth story...please excuse the medical misspellings! I had a planned induction on Wednesday 2 December at 5pm because at my appointment on my due date (30 Nov) I was still barely dilated and not very effaced. At about 7pm, I'm all hooked up to the machines and had the cervidel put in and am just waiting. I wasn't allowed to move for 2 hours while the medicine was getting in place. I was having contractions the whole time but couldn't feel anything. Just about every time I had a contraction, the baby's heart rate would drop a bit and then come back up after the contraction was over. The nurse told me that they were keeping a close eye on it but be aware that if they weren't able to get it to stop, they may have to do a c-section. A little after 11, they put me on oxygen to see if that would help...it didn't. And then at 1am they put in an IV to see if the extra fluids would make it stop...that didn't work either. At 3am, they took out the cervidel and told me that if this didn't work, that meant the baby wasn't tolerating labor and they would want to do the c-section before proceeding with any of the other induction stuff like pitocin because it could lead to an emergency situation and it would be better just to get him out before that happened. At 5:15, the nurse came back in and told me I was going to have a c-section at 8:30. So, I let all our parents know and tried to get some sleep. I was so scared. I really didn't want to have a c-section, but I knew it was what was best for the baby. Having a healthy baby was the real goal anyways. Not only had I never had a baby before, I'd never had surgery...actually I hadn't even been admitted to the hospital since I was born!

At 8:15, they came and took me into the OR. They had gotten the CNP I had seen for all of my prenatal care to come in and assist. I was glad to see her! The spinal block they gave me was funny. I was told I would be basically paralized from the waist down and I might feel some pressure when the doctor cut into me, but that should be about it. It felt like my legs and feet were asleep, you know the pins and needles sensation. I was so sure, if I could just wiggle my toes, it would go away. I felt a little pressure on my chest, as if someone had set some towels or something on top of it. But that was it. After laying there for a little while I heard the baby cry and Harrison was born! He had the cord wrapped around his neck two times and low amniotic fluid. The cord was the reason for his heart rate problem. They brought him to me to hold when I got to recovery. He was just perfect!

I'm so greatful to have this little boy as a part of my life! He is the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Dan is a great dad! He gets right in there and takes care of everything he can.

Two Weeks to Go...(give or take)

Well, we're down to the last couple weeks before this little guy shows up! It feels like its taking FOREVER. My OB doesn't do any internal exams until 39 weeks which is good and bad. Its good because I don't get that false sense of hope of "any minute". You know what I mean...being dilated to 3cm for 3 weeks and nothing. On the other hand, I don't know if anything is going on. Is he getting ready to come out or not?!? We had my 38 week appointment today. It was pretty standard to all my other appointments up to this point. Everything seems good. Weight is good, up 2lbs from last week for a total gain of 13lbs total. Baby's still moving around, though not as much as he used to, which occasionally makes me nervous.
My maternity leave started this week!!! I feel a TON better not having to be on my feet 8 hours a day. I have more energy than I have had in awhile. And I get to take naps when I need them. Now, what I need to do is get the nursery set up. Its still pretty much a junk room. DH is supposed to be helping me move all the boxes out, so I can go through them, but he has a hard time unplugging from the various gaming systems that we have around the house. I'd just do it myself, but I'm not supposed to lift more than 10lbs. The crib and mattress got ordered yesterday. The dresser will get ordered on Friday, along with the last bits and pieces we still need to get. *sigh* I'll feel better once its done!

September Appointment

I had my 29 week appointment yesterday. All my labs from the week before came back good! I barely passed my glucose test, but passing is passing, right? I'd had a big jump in my weight this time (about 9 lbs), but I'd just had lunch before I had my appointment, so I'm hoping that that was the real reason for it!!! The baby's heartbeat is smack-dab in the middle of normal, just the way I like it. I'll be happy to have him be special after he's born, but for now, I like normal. :)
I've got 8 more weeks until my maternity leave starts. It seems like a long ways away, but I guess its really not. I'm not even close to being ready to have this baby! We haven't bought anything yet. Ugh! Dan wants me to wait until after my showers to buy stuff, but the bigger one isn't until the first weekend of November. But I think we should buy the bigger items, like a crib, dresser, travel system, ect. From most showers that I've been to, the girls mostly seem to get blankets and clothes. I don't want to wait until the last minute to get everything. Maybe I'll just start getting stuff and the hubby will just have to deal with it.

Its a Boy!!!

I had my very first ultrasound yesterday afternoon. It was so exciting! He was asleep facing in, so they had to do some poking and prodding to get him to move around to get some shots. He was so cute! He was sucking his thumb for awhile. The tech had to work to get him to move around enough so we could see the goods, his behind was right under my belly button. It was hard for me to tell what's what, but the tech seemed sure that it is a boy, and he does WAY more of these than I do! I thought it was really cool to be able to see him move around and what he does in there!

June Update

My appointment this month went really well. My blood pressure was stable, urine was clear, and my weight was exactly the same as it was last month. The baby's heartbeat was 150 bpm. My doctor said everything is perfect, which is always good to hear coming from your doctor. : ) My ultrasound is on 8 July. I think Dan is even more excited than I am! Its nice to see that he is showing some enthusiasm. He's not what you would call emotional. I guess its hard for it to be real for him and seeing the baby will help.

I think I may have felt the baby move yesterday!!! I was laying down, reading a book and felt something. It kinda felt like this really light almost gassy feeling, but my gas pain is usually a lot stronger. I'm feeling pretty good. No more morning sickness. My only troubles are nerve pain in my back (really my right butt cheek) and I don't sleep as well. Everytime I need to roll over, I end up waking up! Its frustrating.

May Update

The doctor appointment this month was great. Dan came with me for the first time to one of my prenatal appointments. I was more nervous this time than I had been at any other of my appointments. I think its because I've heard of quite a few people miscarrying at 12 weeks and since I heard the heartbeat at 9 weeks and knew everything was fine then, I was worried that something happened between then and now. But as it turned out, everything was fine. We heard it's little heart beating away!

I'd had some questions regarding work. I'm concerned with lifting too much weight. I have to process all my own freight and returns and some of the boxes weigh as much as 40 pounds. I wanted to know just how much was too much. Apparently, there was no correct answer...whatever feels comfortable to me. Also, I spend 6-8 hours on my feet and my lower back has been killing me. She gave me a couple stretches to do to help and told me to take breaks off my feet every two hours...easier said than done! I am lucky to get my breaks in as it is right now, let alone add in an extra one! My headaches have been getting more and more frequent and extra-strength Tylenol just doesn't do much for me. She offered me Darvocet, but I said I'd think about it (this morning, however, I was wishing I had said yes!). I'm hoping a lot of it is allergy related and after the pollen stops blowing all around I won't get so many.

At any rate, my next appointment is 24 June. At that one we'll schedule my big (and possibly only) ultrasound!

Blah...

Its been quite awhile since I've posted, but life's been pretty boring lately. Not much new or exciting going on.

All seems to be well around here. The morning sickness if finally starting to go away...and not a moment too soon. I was getting frustrated with the fact that I had felt like crap every day for six weeks. I'm still pretty tired and am eager to get this "extra energy" I keep reading about that is supposed to happen in the second trimester!!! My house desperately needs a massive cleaning! I did the blood work for the first trimester screening (or whatever its called) today. I kept going back and forth if I should do it or not...but in the end decided to do it.

On a side note, I'm really getting fed up with Dan's gaming. From the moment he wakes up in the morning to when he goes to bed at night, he's playing some sort of game only stopping to eat. He goes back and forth between the computer and the Xbox. Ugh! He doesn't think that its a problem. I think he needs to get done with school and get a good job, but he won't do it. Sorry, but I get frustrated with it!

An Excellent Tuesday

The day of my doctor appointment finally came! I was a little nervous, mostly because I didn't know what to expect. But it went great! My blood work results were good...everything that should be negative was and likewise for positive. I found out my blood type as well, which I've wanted to know for a long time, but have never been typed before (yes, I know I'm strange!). Then she decided to try to see if we could hear the heartbeat with the Doppler device even though it was a little early. She made me promise not to freak out if she couldn't find it. But after a little bit of searching, there it was beating away! It was so unbelievably amazing! I mean, you know there's a little person growing inside you, but really, other than the fact that you know, there's not really any thing to see or feel at this point (besides nausea!). So to hear its little heart beating so fast for the first time was...incredible. Dan wasn't able to go (he was working), but he said he would for sure go to the next one. Next appointment is 29 May!

Chocolate Milk and Gila Monster Spit

I had my very first real food issue yesterday. I bought a chocolate milk chug and took a huge drink and dang near threw it all back up. Chocolate milk? Really? But it tastes so good and I love it! I had my follow up appointment with the diabetes doctor today. He went through my food journal and seemed concerned that I'd only lost 5 pounds since I'd been there last. He started talking about having me do some other treatment using shots partially made of...the spit of a Gila Monster! What?!? I guess they suppress some hormone and can help with weight loss. But you can't take it while you're TTC. I said oh, well I'm 8 weeks pregnant. He said why didn't you start with that! Now everything makes more sense. My weight loss was good then and I don't have to come back until after my pregnancy (yay!)...and then we'll talk more about doing spit shots! LOL!

Ready for Sunshine

My 3 hour GTT came back with great results! Yay!!! All I have done today is sleep, eat, pee, and sleep some more. Its such a dreary day outside, so that doesn't really help! Even the kittens have been sleeping with me all afternoon. I'm ready for spring, but it doesn't seem to want to come. Today when Dan and I were coming home from breakfast, it started slushing. YUCK! Easter was such a beautiful day, and then Monday, it was snowing. I'd say "only in Idaho", but I remember one year in Minnesota, it went from 75 to a blizzard overnight...in February. I've apparently been extra crabby lately. My boss told me I've had 4 complaints this week from employees. He said that if I tell people that I'm pregnant they'll cut me some slack, but I don't want to tell them yet. I really want to wait until after my first trimester. The only reason I told him was in case I start having problems and need time off, then it wouldn't be a total surprise. *sigh* I don't know what to do about it!

Just a Little Update

I'm 6 weeks today! This little bean is still hanging in there so far. The initial blood work I had done came back good, with the exception of the 1 hour glucose tolerance test. That one my sugar came back high. Of course it did...I have IR! So I have to take a 3 hour one on Wednesday. Yuck! I really don't like that test! I've been feeling pretty good...still pretty tired and have to pee all the time (and I'm really gassy!). I think the morning sickness is starting to kick in. From about 2ish in the afternoon until just before dinner I feel a bit miserable. If I'm at home its not as big of a deal, I just take a nap and sleep through it, but at work its rough. Time feels like its going really slow. I feel like I should be way further along than I am! I don't have another doctor appointment until the 28th...it seems like an eternity away. I would just like to know that everything's progressing the way it should be...I'd feel a lot better!

Fantastic!

Finally, after 38 months of TTC, we're going to have a baby!!! Words can't describe how excited (and nervous) I am. I took a test just randomly last Wednesday and it was positive! (I do realize that I am the worst blogger on the face of the planet...a whole week to write about this!) I seriously couldn't believe it. I thought for sure this was just one more cruel joke my body was playing on me. I did 2 more test that day one was positive and the one at the doctor's office was negative. So, I did my blood test the next day, and it was positive too (beta was 51). I did my second blood test on Saturday morning (beta was 167...more than tripled!). I finally realized that this was really for real. I feel a little stupid that I thought for sure this cycle was a complete waste...I didn't think I O'd and Dan's SA wasn't good. But I'm so glad that I was wrong! I had my first doctor's appointment on Monday, and it went really well, I thought. Lots of information just kind of thrown at me all at once, but that's ok. I am 4 weeks and 3 days today...and my EDD is 11/30. I had a 1 hour glucose tolerance test and some other blood work all done today. I'm really, really tired and I have to pee every hour and a half, it seems, but other than that so far I feel pretty good. We've told all my parents and my sisters, so far. We'll tell Dan's parents, but that will be it for quite awhile. Everyone is really excited.

Is it a New Cycle Yet?

It doesn't look like I O'd this C. Ugh! I've done fairly well since being on Metformin and O'd most, if not every, C for the last year. Stupid PCOS!!! We got Dan's SA results back last week. His motility is slow...I'm not sure the exact percent, she just said pretty slow. I feel bad because I was secretly (or not so secretly) glad that it's not all my fault that we can't get pg. All this time he's been telling me that it can't be his fault because he has fathered a kid. I told him he has to quit drinking so much soda. The man drinks it like its going out of style. He'll usually have at least a liter here before work and then at work he has this giant mug that he refills who knows how many times a day! He says he's cut back a lot, so I hope that's true.

I'm Really Tired

I was supposed to have my HSG this morning, but one of my doctor's other patients needed emergency surgery, so it didn't happen. I'm not upset with her because I totally understand, but still, its frustrating. I just wanted this to be over with and be able to move on to the next thing we need to do and now we have to wait another month. I had been so nervous about it for the last few days...tons of what ifs running through my head. I hate to drag this out any further.
I'm getting kind of tired of the whole TTC process. It has been over 3 years and I'm tired of all the charting and counting and never getting a BFP. But mostly, I think I'm tired of feeling tired all the time. And I just want one time for things to work out in our favor. Is that too much to ask for?
Last week I had my appointment with the diabetes doctor. It went ok...he wants me to keep a food journal (which I haven't started) and get a workout in everyday (not this either). I have been making an attempt to eat better and more within the confines of the diet he set for me, but I can't seem to get myself to eat that often. I've never been a breakfast eater and on days I don't have to work, I don't even get up until usually after 10. And if I do have to work, I'm in such a hurry to get out the door, I can't even remember to grab something to take with me. But on a more positive note, I did lose 4 pounds this week, so a step in the right direction. I think if I could get myself under 200 pounds, I would feel like I could actually do this.

On to the Next

AF showed up this morning, right on time. Its ok...I already knew I wasn't pg from my doctor appointment I had on Wednesday. The cramping didn't start out too bad this time but is starting to hurt a bit more as the day goes on. I went out and bought a CBEFM this morning. I am quite excited to use it. I got my FSA money activated on Thursday and decided today's the day. I have a hard time knowing what the "right" time is to BD. It seems like we either stop too early or do it too late. So this should help.

The doctor appointment on Wednesday went pretty good. She didn't realize that I had done so many Cs of Clomid. The pharmacy apparently screwed up and gave me 30 pills instead of the 5 that I was supposed to get. I had told at least one of the nurses at the office that I had that many pills, but the info didn't get passed on, I guess. Anyways, Dan had to do a SA...we should get the results back in the next couple days. I have to do an HSG on next Thursday. And then we'll do IUI. They just got the equipment to do it there in her office, so I don't have to go to someone else. Which is nice...I really like her. She's also sending me to some specialist for the insulin resistance to see if he has any other ideas to help us conceive. So hopefully between all of this stuff, it'll work out for us soon!

Almost Done

Well, I'm halfway through the 2 week wait! Time is really dragging. The last couple days have been a bit rough. I've been so tired, I can hardly keep my eyes open at work and have been going to bed before 10. Friday I had cramps that felt like it feels right before AF shows up and I've been pretty nauseous since almost right after O, which all can be good signs, but it seems too early. So I'm pretty sure its all in my head!
I have to work today...yuck. I hate working Sundays worse than any other day. Its not busy enough to make the time go by fast and its too busy to get anything done. Plus there's usually an overabundance of people who don't speak English in. But I only have to deal with customers for 5 hours instead of 9. I've got one of my employees coming in to help me do the bulk of the moving for the relay tonight. Plus my favorite manager is closing tonight...so it should be good. I'll be glad when its all over. I was wishing yesterday that we could have had the new $9.99 bins set up. There were so many customers coming up to the register with stacks of $9.99 DVDs. I was a bit worried that with adding a bargain section to the Music Department, it was going to kill our average sale dollar amount, but maybe not. Maybe it'll really help boost our items per transaction...though I'm not sure if they track that here.

Besame Mucho

I feel pretty upbeat about this cycle. I ovulated almost all on my own...I got a positive OPK on Friday (yay!) and I think our BD schedule has been pretty well timed. Dan has been a really good sport about it this time around. Sometimes in the past it's been like pulling teeth to get him to BD. My concern is I don't have enough CM. I go into the doctor on the 18th for my annual exam and we're supposed to figure out a plan. I think she's going to be annoyed that I haven't lost much (if any) weight. I really do try to eat well and work out, but with everything else I have to keep track of, counting carbs and protein falls by the wayside a bit. I think I'm going to POAS before I go in. It might be a bit early (about 10 DPO), but maybe not.
Work has been going ok. We're doing a big relay of the department this month (basically pulling a ton of CDs to make room for new DVD sections). Its a bit stressful and I don't get the support I should be getting from the Store Manager, but I think I've got a good handle on it. We just did one in November, but this one requires a lot more moving sections around than that one did. I was actually able to get out of the Music Department for awhile yesterday. I really needed it! We were really short staffed and so they pulled me to work the Customer Service Desk. It was nice to get out of the fish bowl for a bit.

What a Drag

Well, I am finally feeling better after nearly a week on antibiotics. I had an ear infection in my right ear last week. The Keflex interacted with the Metformin I'm on and made me super sick to my stomach! I feel like everything is moving in slow motion lately. I don't know if its because I don't have anything to look forward to or what my problem is! Work is dragging. The worst thing about the crappy economy for me is that it makes my work day go on forever. Having to work by myself for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week is just killing me!!! My cycle feels like its taking forever this month too. I'm currently on day 9, but it feels like much longer than that. Although, it is just about time to get to BDing. My plan is every other day from now until Tuesday or Wednesday then everyday until 2 days after ovulation. Hopefully my master plan will pay off and I'll get a BFP this month!!! I've always thought February would be the perfect month to get knocked up because the maternity leave would be during the Christmas season. How nice would that be? I'd get to enjoy Christmas for the first time in 12 years (which is how long I've been working in retail). I don't want to get my hopes up too high, because I'm always let down. But I can't really help myself!

Trying Days Indeed

Today is the last day of my vacation. I have really enjoyed my time off from work and am not excited or ready to go back. I feel that I was able to do more things that are important to me this week than I have in forever because I was not completely exhausted. I went to the gym 4 days last week and felt good about it. My mom says she can already see a difference, but I think she's just being nice so I keep it up! Today was a rather hard day for me. We had my Great-Aunt's funeral today, I feel bad that I barely knew her. I have a few fond memories of her from my childhood, but do not think I've seen her in at least 15 years. She died very suddenly of a heart attack.I was good to see family I haven't seen in awhile but someone will inevitably ask the question of if we have kids or some variation thereof. Dan has been answering for us, which I am grateful for. I realize they don't know about all our fertility troubles, but I hate that question. We laughed on the way home that we'll just start telling them that we have 6 month old triplet boys at home, meaning, of course, our kittens. I told him we'd get some strange looks when they asked us their names and we told them Link, Chewie, and Yoshi! Its tough too, because I've been told so many times that I need to loose weight and I should be able to get pregnant. Then I see my cousin, who is much heavier than I am, and she has 2 girls. Why can she conceive and I can't? Then I got in a fight with Dan because he always falls asleep when we go to do anything with my family. I told him specifically to stay awake today during the service, because I think it is exceptionally rude to doze off during a funeral. Well, he kept dozing off and I kept poking him awake and giving plenty of dirty looks each time. He says he can't help it, but I think he doesn't try. Its not like I make him go to church very often. We mostly only go for funerals and baby blessings. I understand that he doesn't like to go but I do think that he should be able to keep himself awake for an hour long service. If he really can't, then maybe he should seek medical help. *sigh*

Happy Anniversary

Yesterday was Dan and my 4 year anniversary. I am amazed all the time that we're able to make it work. I still keep waiting for him to wake up one day and realize that he could have done better than me! Its been nice. We got to spend the last 3 days together (which because of our work schedules, is unheard of). We mostly hung out at home and last night we went to a really nice hotel. I'm very grateful for my husband. I give him a lot of crap, but he does the best he can. I am not the easiest person to live with, full of mood swings and overall craziness, but he seems to understand and just lets me be me.

Take This Job...and Other Thoughts

Ahh! It feels so good to not have to think about going to work for the next week! I am very grateful to have a relatively stable job in this economy, especially one with such good benefits, but I really struggle to enjoy going. Most days its hard for me to work up the motivation to get out of bed and go to a place where its so stressful. I like my staff and a few of the other managers, but morale has been so low lately, it makes it difficult to want to go in. A big part of the problem is that we overspent payroll in December (like we always do) and are trying to hurry and make it all up before the end of January when the fiscal year ends. Apparently, there's a new item on our reviews that says if your store doesn't make payroll for the year, managers won't get a raise. That pretty much sucks, especially since the booksellers will still get raises in October. I don't make a whole lot more than the people who work for me. But, at the same time, we are making ends meet on my current salary. We may have some rather large medical bills depending on what we decide to do for infertility treatment, but other than that, it should be about the same as we spent last year. Maybe less, since we moved into a new place and got kittens and all their expenses. On the fertility note, I was asking one of my friends if he knew any specialists of here in town (his dad is a local OB/GYN). He said there aren't any (which I already thought), but his dad specializes in the hard cases and deals mostly with infertility. I guess he's very particular about which cases to take, but is willing to see me! Now I just have to either wait until my FSA money comes in or save up enough to pay my (newly increased) deductible since its a new year. I've also decided to really try hard at being healthier. I'm going to be better about taking all my pills (even the ones I don't like), eating better and actually getting exercise (which I hate to do). But I am determined to loose some (if not all) of this extra weight!

My Journey to Becoming a Mother

Ever since I was a little girl, I had this plan for what my life would be. I'd get married young and have 3 or 4 kids by the time I was 30. We'd have a nice house and be able to do all the things we wanted to. How very different real life turns out! I got married at 24 to my husband Dan. We wanted to start having kids right away. He has a daughter from his previous marriage that he hasn't seen since she was 6 months old when his ex-wife left and has since signed over his rights and let her new husband adopt her. I had been on Depo-Provera for 6 months prior to us getting married and it was a year before I got my next period and then they were very irregular. I thought it was just the Depo working out of my system. I had heard that it can take up to a year, but was frustrated at my doctor for not telling me before I had done it the first time. He knew what our plans were. I never thought I would have a problem with infertility. It makes me wonder if I had this problem all my life and didn't realize it. If that's the case, I'd like a refund for all the money I spent on birth control! Heck, let's apply it all to the cost for the treatments that I'll have to go through now. I finally found a doctor who would work with me last Feburary. She thought I had PCOS (polysystic ovary syndrom) and thought with medication to regulate my cycles, I should be able to get pregnant. I was so excited. I was perscribed Clomid and we started taking it in March. I was also perscribed Metformin to get my insulin levels under control, which happens sometimes with women who have PCOS (I'm not sure which causes what). We did 9 cycles of Clomid treatment with no luck. Being on Clomid is hard. You have to chart and count everything. Take the pills for 5 days starting on day 5. Use ovultation predictor kits to know when you're ovulating. Do the "baby dance" on the right days. Get monthly blood tests done to check hormone levels. My last year's calendar is FULL of numbers that don't mean anything to anyone but me. Anyhow, it didn't work. Now we're tryng to figure out what to do next. I need to go into the doctor's office again to see what's the next step. The words used were"something more invasive". Yuck. I thought I'd write down my feelings about things as we go. Sort of a therapy of sorts.